The Inquisitor is a unique take on the lore of Jesus and may not be appreciated by all, nor may my commentary. For this reason, I  would caution before reading the following review. Also note that minor spoilers are included. 

Game Title: The Inquisitor

Developer:  The Dust S.A.

Publisher: Kalypso Media

Release date: February 8, 2024

OS:   Windows

Platform:  Steam

Price: $39.99

What Is It 

The Inquisitor is a story-driven, action-adventure fantasy that takes place 1500 years after the crucifixion of Christ, but twists the lore into “What if Jesus did not die on the cross and instead sought vengeance on the disbelievers.” You play as Mordimer Madderdin, who is part of a faction of Inquisitors that are all about enforcing faith and less about love thy neighbor.

The game is based on the graphic novel The Grand Inquisitor, which is based on the novel The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

The Mostly Good

Story Concept 

I have to admit that what interested me about The Inquisitor was the unique narrative and what ifs of a vengeful Jesus. As a faithful servant, Mordimer is tasked with investigating the going ons in the village of Koenigstein, which is filled with corruption, or so says Inquisitor zealots. Intriguing, I thought.

As Mordimer solves mysteries plaguing the town, he uncovers much more than the garden variety crime and discovers a deeper evil lies underneath it all. As you proceed, it is up to your own discretion to show mercy or deliver justice. As an Inquisitor you can pretty much do as you please in the name of God. Ok, so maybe this is not as unique of a concept as I thought.

Puppet Show

You read that right. The puppet show to end all puppet shows. The Punch and Judy of the middle ages, where Jesus is there to chew bubblegum and kick ass and he’s all out of bubblegum. Instead of dying like he was supposed to (God’s kids can be so difficult sometimes), he jumps off the cross and takes out a Roman soldier before beheading the reigning Emperor (I swear I saw Xena do this). I rewatched this puppet show several times due to the fact it was ridiculously entertaining and because it was one of the few enjoyable moments of The Inquisitor (and because autosave kept putting me back before I had watched it).

Not All Is Well

Execution 

(See what I did there) While the concept is intriguing, the game is not. There are so many issues that I do not know where to begin. Getting through as much as I did of The Inquisitor, which frankly was not what I would normally give to a game I am reviewing, was tortuous (see what I did there too). Where the basis of the story sounded fascinating, the reality was a tepid game with horrendous mechanics. My curiosity of how the story would play out soon evaporated and I was left wondering how I could get through the next couple of hours, much less the entire game.

Inquisitor often borrows from other games, mainly The Witcher, yet fails to properly pay homage and instead offers a glaring look at how not to do everything. There is even something similar to Witcher Senses, called, well, I don’t know, but from henceforth it is known as Jesus Jabberwocky, which highlights objects of importance.

Quests

Quests are mostly of the fetch variety and oftentimes serve no real purpose other than as filler. Very few have any real bearing on the mysteries at hand and are completely banal. I lost any interest in the main story within the first thirty minutes. At one point I had to find a needle in a haystack by choosing the right tool. The pitchfork was not the right tool. The magnifying glass, however, was. You see, you need to burn the haystack down and instead of using a torch, you use the sun’s ray with the magnifying glass to complete this quest. Tool is definitely the right word for this situation.

The game boasts non-linear play and while you can choose to do several quests you were given in no particular order, you still need to do those tasks to proceed. Cut scenes pop up often and add a new task that Mordimer has to complete to his ever growing list of  things the person playing him does not want to complete. I expected to be off investigating and interrogating as the badass Inquisitor I am, instead I am following some lady with weird hands around and obeying her every command.

I’m Melting? 

Character animations are rough. While Mordimer is tolerable, many of the inhabitants of Koenigstein appear to be melting. Their faces droop oddly and have folds and creases where there should be none. Hands are especially malformed and even the “attractive” woman in the game should considering wearing gloves.

While I am not a stickler in regard to visuals and am perfectly happy playing a pixelated game, there  was an attempt in Inquisitor to create over the top character models that failed miserably. If you are trying  for the stars great, but know  your limits. I would never disparage someone trying their best, but this feels as if the effort was middling at best.

Voice Acting

Where to begin? The voice acting is uneven and stilted. There are times where Mordimer almost sounds believable (and occasionally as if he is mimicking Geralt), but then he devolves into narrating what he needs to do next, followed by praying incomprehensibly. I am guessing the praying is in Latin, but it is pretty faint and there is a windy sound over it so the words are drowned out. He has to pray to use his Jesus Jabberwocky, which needs to be used quite a bit to navigate.

As for the NPCs, they are emotionless and I am not entirely sure that AI was not used instead of real voice actors. In fact, I would not be surprised if most of it was not voiced by actual people.

Navigation 

Getting around in The Inquisitor is mostly by walking. There are street signs with symbols to give the player an idea of where important things are located. Sort of. You see, you need to know what the symbols mean, which is provided early on, but they are easy to forget. This should be fine, because you can just pull up your handy dandy map and….there is no map. You will receive verbal prompts of the place you have to go to, with not even an arrow to point your way. No, instead, you need to whip out your Jesus Jabberwocky and locate all the glowing things nearby and hope one of those is where you need to be. Many things glow, but not all are the important glowy things. Good luck and Godspeed, may whatever glowy thing you choose to head towards be the right glowy thing.

Saves

Ahh yes, the bane of my existence, autosave and only autosave, and not just at normal intervals either, but whenever the game damn well feels like it. Autosave usually triggers after an event, but not always. I lost so much time because I would exit the game and when I returned at least a half hour of my progress was gone. I had a dog that I was so happy to get, as at least there was something in the game I could like. You would think after acquiring a dog the game would save, but no, it did not, nor did the last save happen anywhere near that time. I do not understand in this age of gaming, with a heavy narrative game (allegedly) why manual saves are not offered. Repeatedly losing progress because life got in the way is not a good feeling and is a sure way to get players to rage quit.

Conclusion

The Inquisitor has lofty goals, yet the effort to reach those goals is not there. I feel that someone decided they liked the graphic novel and slapped a game together without a real understanding of what makes a game enjoyable (or the book it was based on).

I wanted to like this game. I have had it on my wishlist since well before it was released. To say this was a huge disappointment is an understatement. There was so much promise in the premise and it was thrown away for a trite and lacking facsimile of a truly great game. Do yourself a favor, go play The Wild Hunt again and pretend The Inquisitor doesn’t exist. I wish I could pretend it didn’t. At least I will always have the puppet show. Not  the dog though…

Yay Or Nay

NAYYYYYY…Sadly, I cannot recommend The Inquisitor even a little. Spend your time on more rewarding activities such as counting your ceiling tiles or sticking googly eyes on museum statues (don’t really do the latter).

D-

*If you’d like to experience an entertaining romp with a different point of view of Jesus, check out the novel Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Friend by Christopher Moore. More funny and heartwarming and less vengeance. Also, well written.